Dear DeviantArt,

I thought, yet again, I would write down some of my thoughts. It helped last time, maybe it will help again...

I look around in recent days wondering what life could offer me. I am seeking a revelation in recent days. I am looking for a time ending in my life and another one beginning. I can feel it happening. I can feel the tension and built up energy flowing through my life now. I know a new dawn of time is coming. I am not exactly sure what is in store for me. I should be getting my AS in Software Engineering by the end of this semester. Though I don't think this revelation is exactly about that.

I can feel something is coming, it is a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I always get when things are supposed to drastically change. It might be another personality change from my wisdom I have currently accumulated. I have been getting close to realize some of my previous held beliefs might not be wise to keep.

For example, why I must insist on doubting and not trusting men in my life is starting to become ridiculous. When I am at college, I am not bashed or put down by any guy on-campus. I am a very well respected RA and individual. Therefore, why do I insist on keeping guys an arm length away when there is no danger? Is it my past that still haunts me? Am I still afraid one of them might hurt me...?

In any case, I think I have fell into deep liking with someone in my life. They may not know how long I have liked them or that I liked them in the first place. They might not know that what I want more than anything is to try to get to know them better and might get to the point of asking them for a psudo-relationship. Not an actual "I want to be with you forever" or a "I want to be a completely serious couple" relationship. I want to offer them a "I will be there for a best friend and more" relationship package. The package in which I can offer the ideal between being a best friend and a lover at the same time. I am looking for nothing committing or serious. All I am looking for is for someone I can pour a little attention into and get a little back.

I should go to bed, but I should expand on this topic at a later point. I might even write a poem to clarify the issue. Until then, I am just hoping to get to know what this epic change in my life might entail.